Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
