Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
