He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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