you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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