I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Randomize
