On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
