Even the bartender felt bad for me
Life is so much better after having sex.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Randomize
