Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
