We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
You left your underwear on the fireplace
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
