Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
