He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
