i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
