I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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