4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
