I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
