Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Randomize
