my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
