Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
