Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
