I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I need to calm my uterus...
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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