We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
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