Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
