i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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