summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
