I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
