sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Randomize
