why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
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