So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Randomize
