Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
