so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
