Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
