I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize
