u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Randomize
