idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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