What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
