ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
