she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
