Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
