Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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