One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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