We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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