so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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