the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
