I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
