I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize
