i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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