I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I skipped work to stalk him.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize