we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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