After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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