And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
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